It is a day of new beginnings, of resolutions and honest sweat. I made it to 10 am yoga and the class was full. Passed dozens of joggers on Ridgewood Ave. Figured I’d do an online tarot reading and see what the new year had in store. Not the best cards: four of pentacles (cheap), three of swords (heartbreak), five of cups (regret). Only the High Priestess in the advice position (spiritual practice) augured something pleasant. But the Devil card, drawn in the Daily Lesson position, intrigued me:
The Devil card in this position requires that you give up all attachment to what others think of you. You know that as you succeed in the mission that makes you burn with desire and forces you to break precedent, you will encounter naysayers and come up against what looks like enemies.
Don’t be dismayed. It means you are making progress enough to discomfit those who are attached to the past. That’s a sure sign of your success. Moreover, you are no longer inhibited by your conditioning and the taboos of the past. Be confident that you are being effective, that you are in the process of making a difference. This is not a popularity contest, but transformation for the sake of the greater good.
I like this. The idea that I might be moving on to a self that doesn’t give a shit what people think. That I could find my stride, walk with true conviction, not looking left, right or in the mirror. Today in yoga, especially at the beginning, I spent less time looking at the others to make sure I was doing my positions correctly. When it was time to hang, I really dropped my head. And when I stumbled, when I lost my balance or couldn’t hold a pose, I didn’t feel an ounce of embarrassment.
What could the Devil be telling me about my writing life?