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bn.jpgTonight was the first book signing for “Fear and Yoga.” Clifton Commons B&N. Margot told me as we were walking in that my floor-length vest made me look like a witch. Soprano Sue told me afterwards that it had a stain. A photographer for the Bergen Record came to take a portrait of me. Hammed it up a little, doing half-lotus pose, with my books, in one of the fiction aisles. A stranger in the front row had actually read my brother’s book. Waited nervously before Liza, Ellen, Cindy, Soprano Sue, Tom Biro, Uncle Tonoose and several other assorted fans showed up. Apologies, self-deprecation, the usual crap. Good Q&A. Bonus: Joyce gave me poster to take home.

Notes to self.

1. Lose 20 pounds.
2. Be 20 years younger.
3. Ride in the back of police cars in order to get some good stories to tell like Richard Price.
4. Check clothing for stains ahead of time.
5. Forget the cop car. Figure out your own charming story.
6. What charming story?
7. More self-confidence please. Channel Dottie Frank. Channel Joy Behar. Channel Noah.
8. Beg, borrow or steal friends to pack a room. Pay ringers if you have to.
9. Be funnier.

(Photo by Soprano Sue.)