Live by the Sword, Die by the Sword

Today should have been a very good day for me. I was on the Brian Lehrer show on WNYC, which is a big deal, and I thought I’d done a fairly respectable job. Brian is a big sweetie, he and his producers were well-prepared, people called in. Brian is a wonderful host in every sense [...]

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I’d Rather Be a Left-Handed Flea

It so sucks to be extraordinary. Just ask Pippin, Broadway’s most famous poster child for ennui. Pippin, in case you missed Glen Ridge High School’s spring musical this weekend, is the son of King Charlemagne. He knows he’s special; it’s the rest of the world that lacks luster. Pippin tries everything: war, patricide, ruling the [...]

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In Which We Deconstruct Our Dreams

There’s something quite wondrous about the way dreams take the issues of your life and spit them back at you as symbols. How, if you take the time to remember them, write them down, and wade through their nutty, illogical plots, you find wondrous gifts there.
I don’t know why everybody doesn’t try to remember their [...]

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What the F*** Was I Thinking?

I’ll tell you what I was thinking when I bought this Fender acoustic guitar earlier today.
I was thinking, there’s no time like the present. I promised myself this a month ago when I was in Virginia and picked up John von Kirk’s guitar one night and played a verse of “Shame and Scandal” right there [...]

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A White-Glove Test of a Different Sort

I’m thinking I need a name for the type of person Nina, my protagonist in “Fear and Yoga,” represents. She’s not a soccer mom. She’s not a PTA mom. Politically correct is close. But it’s such an old term. I first heard it when I lived in North Carolina and that was 25 years ago. [...]

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Proof of My Own Existence

I am an author with a significant book out. The Bergen Record says so.
Say what you want, but Galant knows her subject matter. A former New York Times reporter and columnist, she co-owns a blog of hyper-local Jersey news called Baristanet, which reports on interesting slices of modern suburban life in and around our parts.
Say [...]

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Sad, But True

Talk about your profession that’s really lost its allure. Back in the day, when I was growing up, there was something called “The Great American Novel,” which everybody aspired to. Now, it’s “The Great American YouTube Video” or the “The Great American Reality Show Appearance” or maybe the “Great American Blog-Inspired Humor Book.“
From the Onion:
Novelists [...]

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Dear Stuff White People Like Guy,

Now that you are super-famous and just got a $350,000 book deal, I hope you remember the little people, the random bloggers, the Debbie Galants of the world, who discovered you, like, five days ago.
Back then — and it’s such a lost world, so distant, so innocent– hardly anybody I knew had heard of you, [...]

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Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

Yes it’s the first night of Purim, but is that really a reason for missing a book reading? Here are some other excuses.
Got a school concert tonight — best of luck and I love your new blog.
My child is more important to me than you are.
I wish I could be there.
I am tired and have [...]

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It’s Not Zen, But At Least It’s Exercise

Dorothy Parker would have had a Scotch. When I needed a break from the laptop yesterday, I went to the gym.
Don’t get me wrong. That’s not the kind of person I am. Until yesterday, I had been to the gym exactly zero times in the month of March. I can only take it as a [...]

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